The Easter with too many carbs

Oh, hello there!

I’m feeling the need to cover my face out of embarrassment as I sit down to type up this blog (it’s really hard…I’m going to start using both hands to type now) because I haven’t published a blog post since OCTOBER!

Now granted, you may remember that a few months back, I mentioned starting a new job that completely turned my schedule upside down and I really don’t cook traditional dinners much anymore.  I know it’s a little unfair that I’m still using this as an excuse, especially because I’ve been at my “new” job for over a year now, but sometimes there’s just nothing to report!  Even when there is, I’m really bad about putting it all into words before the sadness and hilarity of it all slips away from me.

Another blunder I’ll admit to- what was I THINKING trying to post one blog a week?  If I had set a realistic goal for myself, like once a month, perhaps, maybe I wouldn’t have completely fallen off of the internet the last several months.  Maybe I can commit to one blog a month.  What do you think?  Yeah?

Well, let’s get started then!

The last few times I’ve have something go really wrong in the kitchen (wrong-er than is normal for me, that is) I’ve had the presence of mind to scribble a few notes down to remind me of just how the disaster unfolded when the time came to put it on paper.  (Side note: I love that I use words like “scribble” and “paper” when it fact, neither of those things play ANY part in blogging) so I’ve got a few to start with.  So for today, let’s go with–

He is risen, the rolls have not .

No, no, that’s entirely too sacrilegious (ducks and looks for lightning) let’s try again. (Besides, the rolls did rise, that wasn’t the problem, but now I’m getting ahead of the story).

Jesus is alive, so pass the pork.

Ehhhhhh….still too much? Okay, how about–

The Easter with all the Carbs

It’s Easter Sunday in the Valencia house and due to personal reasons, we had made the decision NOT to serve on a ministry team this year (which, for me, is all kinds of weird.  I don’t think I’ve ever simply attended a church service on easter, I’ve always been serving or teaching or singing or something, probably starting from the year I was in the womb) so after attending the late service like a couple of creasters (Creaster: noun, one who attends church only on Christmas and Easter) I decided to make us a good old fashioned easter dinner.  In past years, I’ve picked up a half pre-cooked ham, and, in past years, we’ve ended eating ham for 9 days and then STILL throwing away a very large portion of it. So this year, I picked up a little….I’m not even sure, eighth of a ham.  I also picked up potatoes for scalloped potatoes and rolls.  And just in case that’s not enough carbs, Danny’s requested stuffing (because what’s a holiday meal without stuffing?).

The only thing I made here that has a specific recipe for is the scalloped potatoes, everything else just required heating up.  I’d made this version of scalloped potatoes before and it is SO good, so I’ll include the recipe for you.

Cheese Scalloped Potatoes, by way of
2lbs Yukon Gold potatoes, peeled and thinly sliced (Yeah, we definitely did not thinly-enough-slice them)
3 cups heavy whipping cream (I only had a pint, so I only used 2 cups, and a little milk)
1 tbsp dried parsley (does anyone ever actually add this?)
2 cloves garlic, minced (I buy the pre-minced stuff, cuz I’m lazy/brilliant)
1 1/2 tsp salt
1/4 tsp black pepper
1 cup mozzarella (I used cheddar-jack blend because I prefer cheddar on potatoes

(Oooooooookay, per usual, looking back at my list of modifications, it’s already clear why this potentially didn’t go well, but you never see these things in the moment.  Plus theres a curse.)

Preheat oven to 400.
I realize that the rolls are supposed to cook at 375 and I have no idea what the ham should really be cooking at, so I figure 400 is probably good for everything as long as I watch it.
(Did I mention there’s a curse?)

Layer potatoes in prepared pan 
I asked Danny to chop up the potatoes, and in hindsight I’m realizing that it’s entirely my fault that I didnt tell him how small to chop them.  I suppose they should have been more thinly sliced, but danny chopped them into perfect little cubes and I was certain that they’d cook up just fine.  Right?
(Sigh.  I can’t even blame the curse here, can I.)

Stir together heavy cream, garlic, parsley, salt, and pepper.  Pour over potatoes.

Bake for 30 minutes, stirring every 10 minutes.  Top with cheese and bake until golden brown and bubbly. The ham is supposed to bake at ten minutes per pound and it’s maybe 2.5lbs, so that should work out great.

I set the first ten minute timer and go to prepare the rolls (which, of course, means seeking out my husband and making him open the scary jack-in-the-box tube of dough).  As I lay the uncooked dough on the pan, I have a sudden realization.

We have NO veggies to go with this meal.

Normally I get green beans, or asparagus, or at the very least a side salad, but somehow it slipped my mind.  The ten minute timer goes off, I stir the potatoes and then I scour my freezer, surely we have some frozen green beans in here.

Nope.  Never in my life have I felt like such a stereotypical American.  Not a single vegetable in my house (although in my defense, I grocery shop on Mondays).  Well, I guess we’ll just eat ALLLLLLLL the carbs today.  (I’m pausing to decide if I should make a last supper joke here, Jesus took the bread and all that…..nope, nope. I can’t do it).  The timer goes off, I pop the rolls into the oven and stir the potatoes.  I set another ten minute timer.

The stuffing comes together fast, and I set it aside. The timer goes off.  Even having only cooked the rolls for 10 minutes, having cooked at 400 has made the rolls a bit more than golden.  I pull them out, set them aside, and throw some cheese on the potatoes.   Man they smell good.  Thank goodness for potatoes for always being there for us!

The ham, which I glazed with concentrated apple juice and spicy mustard, probably cooked longer than it needed to and is looking a little shriveled, so I pull it out too, I fluff the stuffing, and survey the goods:

-One semi shriveled ham

-Rolls with an excellent tan

-Some seriously good smelling potatoes

-Good old stuffing from a box

-Zero vegetables

It’s sunny with a high of 74° today, so Danny and I cart everything out to the patio, bless the mess, and dig in. And over the sound of crunchy potatoes, Danny tells me everything is delicious.

I sure do love that man.

Observations for next time:

-Buy some dang vegetables

-Bake things at the appropriate temperatures

-For the love of all things, follow the actual recipe



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