You build the house, I’ll build the baby

So, if you’re here reading this blog, odds are you already know I’m not the best cook.  The sad thing about this is, my cooking is a reflection of my overall knack for doing most basic things in life.

You know what it’s like to have a knack for something, right?  You can visualize what you need to do in your mind, and then you just kind of do it.  No real learning required.  It’s like you always knew how, you just needed to go through the motions.  Well here’s the thing about me.

I just don’t have a knack for stuff.  

Now, that is not to say I am not good at certain things, or that I am not smart, or that I have not acquired certain skills.  There are some things that I am very good at, and honestly, most of them are intrinsic.  I guess you could say I have a knack for making conversation with strangers.  Or maybe that I have a knack for coordinating schedules or making plans.  But when it comes to doing things with my hands…I just don’t have it.  And while my cooking is a reflection of that, but the truth is, cooking is not the only domestic project I struggle with.  So, without further ado, welcome to this very special edition of 

Katie can’t do house projects!

Now as you probably know, I have a baby on the way, and my husband and I have been working away getting the house ready for our little blessing who will be joining us in about 6 weeks (at the time of these events). Now, we’ve had a very odd but fortuitous advantage when it comes to getting ready for baby in that neither of us has gone to work in about 12 weeks. Danny has worked from home helping with distance learning and curriculum (he’s a teacher) so he’s had work to do and meetings to attend, but as for me, I haven’t “gone to the office” in about three months. So, whereas most couples find themselves in crunch mode when they hit 30 weeks, we are actually pretty much done with all of the big stuff.

And honestly, it’s all been Danny.

Don’t get me wrong, I’ve helped some.  I’m really good at ordering things online (could that be considered a knack?!) and most of what I’ve done is plan and order and then sit back and watch Danny make everything beautiful.  And y’all, you should see our nursery.  Danny free-handed a beautiful mountain mural on our accent wall, and refinished a second hand changing table to match the crib that he pretty much single handedly put together.  He’s also hung bookshelves and refinished the bassinet and done about 900 other projects that I was completely useless in helping with.  I’ve told you before, he’s kind of OP.  Now I guess the fact that I’m building the baby kind of makes things even, but I really wanted to feel like I was helping with the nursery.

That brings us to today.

After a quick Target run today (my first big public outing in like 100 days!), Danny decided to relax and play some video games (he is on summer break, after all) and I decided I was going to do something productive.  Really the last thing that needs to be done in the baby’s room is that the curtain rod needs to be put up.  I know how to do that, in theory, so I thought I’d surprise Danny and hang the curtain rod all by myself.

I bet you can see where this is going.

Now, I want the curtains to hang above and slightly outside of the window frame so that the room gets nice and dark, so I grabbed a tape measure and measured three inches out and three inches up and made some small pencil marks.  Now, last time I hung up curtain rods (I really should have written about that day.  It was a wonderful disaster.  But I’d saved face by blaming it on the fact that the curtain rods were plastic garbage that I bought at BigLots for about $4 each) I ran into the problem that when I tried to insert the anchors, I ran into studs, and all of the anchors broke.  Well, not today, studs.  I pulled out our handy dandy stud finder and made certain that there we no studs under my marks for the anchors.  Man, this is going to be a piece of a cake. 

I used a nail to create a small hole to get the anchor started, and then inserted the anchor, but the hole wasn’t big enough.  So I created a bigger hole and tried again.  I got the anchor about 70% of the way into the wall when it would no longer budge.  Now, I’m a big enough person (especially right now- teehee, pregnancy humor) to know when I’m defeated, so I hung up my pride and went and told Danny what had happened.  He came in, like my knight in shining armor, confirmed that there was in fact no stud in the wall, gently tapped the anchor the rest of the way into the wall, and returns to his game.

Show off.

Okay, now I know it can be done and that I’m on the right track, so I’m gonna finish this thing all by myself, easy peasy.  The bracket requires two anchors, so I repeat the same steps on the second mark.

The anchor breaks in half.

Well surely that’s just a fluke, so I grab another anchor.  It breaks in half.

I grab the stud finder and verify for the final time that there is NOT a stud in the wall, and defeatedly knock on Danny’s study door again.  He comes in and confirms that I’m not crazy, something is definitely blocking the path.  He creates a second hole, up and in from the first set of holes, and runs into the same phantom stud underneath.  He goes and gets the drill, and at this point I’m realizing that my plan to surprise him while he played video games has just turned into me forcing him to work on a project he didn’t intend to do today. 

We conclude that the anchors can’t be placed in this area, and that we’ll have to spackle, paint, and start over. But Danny lovingly makes it clear that, as he stated earlier, he doesn’t want to work on it today. Danny returns to his video games, and I spackle up all of the holes.

So that brings us up to speed.  Danny is playing video games and I’m back doing what I do best- quipping around nonsense on the internet.

I guess we all have a knack for something.

Observations for next time:

-Let Danny do the projects and stick to my post at amazon prime


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